Epic Fail

| January 3, 2017 | Reply

As we travel the world and teach people the principles of Appreciation Marketing, we always like to “take the high road” and always speak in glowing terms when we tell our stories. First of all, it’s good karma, and most people can relate to a story about how somebody improved his or her life profoundly by exercising the laws of appreciation and gratitude.

However, sometimes a story is best told in reverse.

Case in point, I needed some firewood this winter. I only purchase wood every two or three years (and I always wait until the last minute) so I don’t have a regular supplier. So, I opened up the local newspaper and saw a whole list of people selling firewood. It’s all about the same price ($200 a chord) seasoned and split.

I called the first number (starting in my own town first) and I left a voicemail.

I called the second number (also from my town) and left another voicemail.

I figured I’d stop there, and the first one to call me back tonight gets my business. Well, neither called me back that night.

The next day I called another number and got a live person. He’s a few towns over, but can deliver it tomorrow. Perfect.

The wood gets dumped out in my driveway on Sunday morning, I pay in cash, and then I commence to stacking the wood under my deck. For those of you who have never stacked a chord of wood . . . it’s a lot. After a few hours, I finished the chore and figured I’d go in and light my first fire of the year. Guess what? I couldn’t get the wood to burn. It was heavy, it was wet, and (as my father commented) it was “green.”

The next day I was sitting in the waiting room at my doctor’s office and thought about my new “wood guy.” I struggled with contacting him because I didn’t really have a solution. The wood was delivered and I already stacked it up. I don’t want him to come take it away. But I figured I’d text him and see what he might say or do.

I texted, “I’m pretty disappointed with that firewood, Mark. I can’t burn it.”

After sending it, I sat back and wondered how an expert of Appreciation Marketing might reply. I was thinking that if it were me, I might reply something like, “I’m so sorry Mr Wyatt. How can I make it right?” Maybe I’d offer a partial refund, or drop off some extra (better) wood.

Here’s what I got. “Really? You are the first and only customer in 20 years to say that.”

Hmm. Just lucky I guess? Does that reply make my firewood any good? Does that reply have anything to do with my disappointment? Does it do anything to put me at ease? And the most important question of all . . . WILL I EVER DO BUSINESS WITH THAT GUY AGAIN? Would you?

Sorry, Mark from Roxbury, CT. You became a blog post. As my eleven-year-old daughter would say, “Epic fail.”



Why You Lost Your Best Customer & Your Wife

| January 18, 2016 | Reply

The REAL Reason Why You Lost your Best Customer And Your Wife


Do you know the #1 reason why your customers do not return to do business with you again, or refer you business? The #1 reason is because of perceived indifference! Do you know what perceived indifference means? It’s a fancy way of saying they think you DO NOT CARE.

Obviously you care, but if the perception is that you don’t, guess what the reality is? You do not care. Perception is reality.

There are a lot of ways to show you care. The challenging part is slowing down for a few minutes each day to focus on what has proven to be one of the most powerful forms of marketing {showing gratitude}, Appreciation Marketing®.

Personal experiences in both my business and my personal life have driven me to slow down each day and focus on the one thing really matters in life: relationships.

Joy, happiness and prosperity always lived in the future for me, and I had a difficult time bringing them to the present moment. I never felt a sense of fulfillment and it affected all areas of my life

The reality is that we can have it all NOW. There’s a two-part formula, and you can’t expect a positive result without blending the two.

The two things we can control are 1) our thoughts and 2) our effort. Being conscious of the NOW and giving the gift of the present moment requires effort. How are you doing in the arena of showing that you care? The marketplace votes with their wallets and spouses vote with their hearts.

The little things add up. The next time you’re speaking to someone in person, refrain from glancing at your phone, paperwork or looking over his or her shoulder. Remember the last time someone did that to you? It makes you feel insignificant and suggests that they don’t care, doesn’t it?

It’s human nature for us to be drawn to acceptance. When someone appreciates us, we give more attention in that direction. This is true in both our business and our personal lives. It’s easy to point fingers and place blame on what looks to be the issue on the surface. The reality is, the root of the issue could be that you aren’t showing that you truly do care.

When you show people you care, and you do it in a way that makes an impact, it makes you stand out and be remembered. Whether it’s your spouse, children, customers or employees, be conscious of how you are showing them you care. It can be as simple as looking him/her in the eyes and just being in the moment and actually listening when having a conversation.

As you launch into a new year, I’m sure you have big goals and are looking to move fast. I want to personally challenge you to make a New Year’s resolution: slow down in order to speed up.

Slow down a bit, and focus more on what feeds your company (your customers), focus on your employed community (those who allow your vision to be a reality), and focus more on your family (the reason why you do what you do).

Remember, the best investment we can make is in relationships, because relationships are the real currency in life.

Curtis Lewsey is founder of AMcards.com and co-author of Appreciation Marketing®: How to Achieve Greatness Through Gratitude. AppreciationMarketing.com


My #1 Word for 2016

| January 6, 2016 | Reply

Enough of the excuses, it is time to really make a difference. I am excited you are along for the journey. I will be challenging you through the “Make a Difference Minute” Blog posts to raise the level of your game as well.

In the comments below, please share your word of the year and why 🙂

I appreciate you,

Curtis Lewsey

Sincerely Yours,

It was George Orwell who stated, “the great enemy of clear language is insincerity.” 

Ever thought about it?

So how do you rate when it comes to sincerity?

You can instantly tell when somebody has their own best interest in mind (and you don’t like it). Conversely, you always get a good vibe from somebody who you can trust. Somebody who is sincere.

Such an overused word – sincere. We sign letters with “Sincerely yours, . . . ” but do we really take time to consider the word’s meaning? “Daddy, what does ‘sincere’ mean?” “Honey, it means – do you really mean what you say? Or are you just saying it to get something?”

While logging in to write this AM Blog this morning, I noticed 455 messages in our “comments” tab. That means 455 people had something to say about our last blog which was published in April. Disappointingly (but not surprisingly) 451 of those comments were hard-line Chocolate Frosted Dog Crap (see Appreciation Marketing, Chapter 5).

In other words, 451 different people (or companies) posted (mostly) computer generated responses to our blog post, explaining how insightful the post was and how they are either offering search engine optimization software, lists, leads, sneakers, sunglasses, knockoff Rolex watches, tee shirts, concert tickets, or handbags.

So touched by the genuine sincerity of all our wonderful fans who took the time to read the blog, I’m going to get out my credit card and buy from them. Seriously? Does this stuff work?

Instead I’ll spend ten minutes deleting all the spam. What’s wrong with the world today?

As Maya Angelou (whose wax twin I recently met at Madame Tussaud’s Museum in NYC) said, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

If you don’t care . . . just stay away.

Think about that as you present yourself to your friends, your associates, or your potential customers. Because they can tell.



Mean People Suck

| April 15, 2015 | Reply

After a few hours at the town playground last night, I took my nine-year-old daughter over to grab dinner at Denmo’s (an outdoor, walk-up spot in town).

Denmo’s cooks all of its items short order and people stand around for a few minutes waiting. I was immediately impressed with the teenage girl who took our order. She was friendly and polite . . . two traits that always go a long way with me. I, being on a health kick, ordered a diet Coke with my foot-long chili dog and Cassidy had chicken fingers and french fries.

We sat at the picnic tables and took in the sights and sounds of this pleasant spring evening. Well, not pleasant for long.

A woman, who had to be in her eighties marched up to the side window and banged on the glass. When the teenager opened the window and politely asked, “can I help you ma’am?”

“WHERE’S MY ORDER?!” the woman barked?

“I’m sorry,” the girl said, raising her eyebrows in a concerned way. “What did you order?” mean-chihuahua

“A CUP OF MAPLE WALNUT ICE CREAM!” the woman scoffed, as though anyone would be an idiot not to have known the answer.

The cup of ice cream was sitting in the window, four feet away, where the old woman had ordered it. Apparently, when her number was called, her husband grabbed his ice cream and left hers there.

Just a few minutes later another woman – maybe around sixty – stormed back up to the window.


“I am so sorry ma’am,” the young girl, now very flustered, answered. “Can I have them make you a new one, or would you like your money back?” 


The teenager, now in tears, is consoled by the other workers.

My daughter, aware but almost unfazed by the whole ordeal, looks up at me and whispers, “Somebody needs a happy meal!”

Are you somebody who views every situation from the lens of “how does this effect me?” Or are you compassionate for the thoughts and feelings of others. Yeah, I know, you should expect to receive the order you placed. But really?

Some readers here will say, “So what’s the problem? I would have done the same thing.”

And that’s your right. But being a jerk never does anybody any good. There’s always a ripple.

Incidentally, when the fish sandwich woman sat down with her husband, she unknowingly sat in a puddle of ice cream that a little girl had just dropped there. It made my day.

Mean people suck.


Living (Not Bringing) Your “A” Game

| March 26, 2015 | Reply

We’ve all been guilty of polishing up our “A” game in order to entice the sale.

You needed a favor. You wanted permission. You hoped for another date. Or, maybe you just wanted to close a business deal.

Children learn the queues as infants and perfect “A” game usage throughout life, again, pulling out “the good stuff” at opportune times in order to get something. Being extra kind. Being extra nice. Extra helpful. Going the extra mile. Being extra thoughtful.

But what if you trained yourself to always bring your “A” game? What if you left the light on all the time?

Recently I attended a corporate dinner function at an upscale restaurant. The people at the table were all well-educated and professional. I, of course, was the square peg, the entrepreneur, the free spirit, the one without the need to impress or put on airs. I just did me.


I made the toast, “to new friends and to our individual selves who help to create the perfect whole.” I pulled out chairs for the ladies, asked the server’s name (Dawn) and addressed her by it all throughout the night, and stood up to greet the people who arrived late and again to say goodbye to those who left early. I sent a special “hello” to the head bartender who (maybe not so ironically) I knew. I complimented the chef for a great meal (for which he came out to the table to express his thanks).

I just didn’t have the need to be viewed as important and instead treated everybody else as though they were.

I wasn’t putting on a show. I was just doing me.

The immediate result was better service (for me, anyway), increasingly more-generous pours in my red wine glass, and my drinks comped by the bartender. At the end of the night, as everybody shook hands with the out-of-town guest, I went in with the two-handed handshake, pulled him in for a “good ol boys” hug, called him by his first and last name, complimented him, thanked him for coming, and told him how glad I was to have met him. His clever response; “Scarecrow, I’ll miss you most of all.” And I’m pretty sure that’s true.

Who knows? Maybe the guy thought I was a jerk. Probably not, though. I always notice when people are nicer and kinder and more polite than the norm. And I’m guessing that other people notice those things as well.

Before you accuse me of self-canonization, let me confess that I often forget to bring that “A” game home with me for the people who deserve it most. We all forget. We all slip. It’s a conscious work in progress.

If you turn your heat off at night, you’ll wake up to an icy cold house. But if you leave it on all the time and just turn it down a little at bedtime, you can be comfortable all winter long. It might cost a little more – from an energy perspective – but I think its worth it. Others will too.

Who’s YOUR Daddy?

| February 21, 2015 | Reply

I’ve always thought that to be peculiar rhetoric. I’m not sure about the meaning or origin of that overused quip, but I know that (in the literal sense anyway), most people only have one daddy.


Personally, the question makes me thing about the “next level” of top-of-mind awareness (TOMA). TOMA is when people automatically think of you when a certain topic arises. For example, when I hear something about the New England Patriots, I instantly think about my friend Brian Kryzanski. My good friend Jim Kohn has earned TOMA for multiple things  . . . restaurants, bourbon, BMW, and Jamaica to name a few.

Clearly, though, you’d like to earn TOMA with the people you know when it comes to your business. If you are a REALTOR® then you’d love it if all the people within your “circle of influence” would instinctively think about you when its time to buy or sell a house – and would also refer you to their circles.

But the “Who’s Your Daddy?” syndrome is the ultimate plane of business success.

Bob McIntosh (Frontline Electric) is not an electrician. He’s my electrician.

Mike Tegeler (Tegeler Insurance) is not just an insurance agent. He’s my insurance agent.

When I have a heating and cooling situation, Pete Galasso (PG & Son) is my HVAC superhero.

Of course I could go on and on. These people have earned my business by being more than professionals at what they do. They know me, they like me, they appreciate me, and they appreciate my business. At least I think so! I trust them completely and am 100% comfortable calling on them when I need their help and will refer them every single time. Because of who they are, I’m their customer for life.

What’s funny is that there are several people (and places) I do business with who have not done anything special to earn my trust and loyalty. And they’ll only be on my payroll until somebody else comes along and does.

We all earn that “next level TOMA” with somebody to some degree. The secret is not necessarily to identify who YOUR daddy is. Its to prove to everybody else how grateful you would be to be theirs.

Are you expendable?


Don’t Be a Sucker

| February 11, 2015 | Reply

What does it mean to be “a sucker?”  Screen Shot 2015-02-11 at 9.30.50 AM

One of the most popular chapters in Appreciation Marketing® is Chapter 5, entitled “Seven Deadly Creatures.” In it, we poke fun at different character traits that people (including ourselves) tend to exhibit as we go through life. Identifying these – not so good for you – traits, is part of what helps make us better people.

One of our “featured creatures” is The Sucker, or the Energy Sucker. This is the person who is always focused on the negative things in life and has a tendency (unknowingly) to suck the energy out of other people.

Surely you’d agree that it would be detrimental to both your personal and professional life if people viewed you that way.

As I scroll though Facebook this morning (as I do every morning) I’m noticing the usual current event posts. Yep, that moron Kanye West acted like an idiot at the Grammys again. The Chicago Little League team was stripped of its World Series title for cheating. Of course, we’re still hearing not only about how the New England Patriots may or may not have deflated footballs, but now the buzz is how Seahawks’ coach Pete Carroll blew the Super Bowl with a dumb call. Michael Moore is a Nazi. ISIS is executing people. And Obama doesn’t care. “I can’t breathe!”

I stopped focusing on the “news” a long time ago, because it puts me in a bad mood. I don’t watch the news before bed, and I don’t start off my day with it.  On the weekend, I’ll read about it in The New York Times, fittingly, while on the toilet (sorry).

The world is so overwhelmingly negative that oft times we want to talk about all the negative crap. Again, I sometimes stumble and do it myself. But it seems that people like to re-report all the bad news like there’s a reward for it.

I know people have the right to post whatever they want on Facebook. That’s not going to be my argument here. My only question is, do you want to be pegged as the Energy Sucker who reposts everything that’s wrong with this world? Or would you be better served if people thought of you as a beacon of light, an energy giver?

Food for thought.

Have a great day (unless you have other plans)!

A Little Extra

| January 20, 2015 | Reply

At 211-degrees, water is hot. At 212-degrees, it boils. And as Sam Parker and Mac Anderson point out in their book, The Extra Degree, it’s just that one extra degree of effort (in business and in life) that can separate the good from the great. Just a little bit extra.

Last week my wife and I dropped our teenage daughter off at the movies and decided to kick around the mall for a few hours instead of driving home and having to come all the way back.

Though we don’t normally go into Sears, we had to walk through the store because of the parking spot we found outside the entrance. And while moving through the fitness section, I noticed the sale they were having on treadmills. Mine happens to be about 12 years old and is slipping, so I took a closer look.

Fifteen minutes later, we had dropped $1,500 on a sweet new treadmill (that we really didn’t need), which was to be delivered on Monday (in six days). The kid who (barely) helped us was thrilled to have collected a nice commission bonus just before quitting time on what had been a slow day. He was a nice kid, and I felt good for him.

Fast forward to Friday night ad I’m whipping up a birthday dinner for my wife. Company is coming in 30 minutes, when I see sparks flying around inside the oven window. I turn it off, run downstairs and shut off the fuse, and – in a panic – make an executive decision to cook the dinner (linguini with white clam sauce) in the microwave. Eww.


On Saturday morning, reality sets in. We need a new stove.

Stove or treadmill? Eat or exercise? “Let’s call and cancel the treadmill.”

“I feel bad for the kid,” Michele says to me. “Yeah, me too.”

The Appreciation Marketing expert in me was wondering what would have happened if that kid had sent a thank you note or even called or left us a voicemail to personally thank us. I have to think that we wouldn’t have cancelled. I am certain, however, that if Sears had delivered the treadmill faster, the sale would have certainly stuck.

So, as it is, we’ll be getting a new oven in a few days and I’ll be hanging clothes on the old treadmill for a while longer.

Still, I feel bad for that kid.


Bite Sized Chunks

| January 9, 2015 | Reply

Happy New Year, friends! New-Year-Resolution-photo

I’ve heard it said that the number-one New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight. Number two is to make more money or get out of debt. Others include exercising more, quitting smoking or drinking, traveling more, spending more time with family, and insert your own here _____.

Regardless of what your own resolutions are, every single one of them revolves around being better. People resolve to have a better life in 2015, not worse.

And being better is so simple when you do it in bite-sized chunks.

Read a page a day in a book. Do five pushups. Smoke one-fewer cigarette. Put a smaller portion on your dinner plate.

In your business, be more conscious about showing your appreciation. Say thank you more. say thank you in better ways (than just saying it).

Yesterday – after the temperature rose from 1-degree in the morning to 40 by afternoon – I found myself in the mood for a cigar (yeah, I know; but quitting smoking isn’t one of my resolutions!) I went to my humidor, but the cupboard was bare. None left. So I disregarded the urge and went on to other things.

Within the hour (true story), the UPS man came to my door and handed me a small cardboard box. I noticed the return address was a friend (Diana McIntosh) and was puzzled at what she might have sent me. I opened the box to find a single cigar in an aluminum casing! Yes, I also heard harp music and angels chanting (but that was in my head). On top of the gift was a note. It read:


There are certain things that make you think of certain people.

Here’s to a great 2015. Happy New Year!

Paying it forward,


Now, considering I have smoked a cigar in about three weeks, the timing of both the urge and the gift are a complete coincidence. Or are they?

After immediately thanking Diana on Facebook, and sending her off an actual thank you card, (well not immediately, I smoked the cigar first!) I began thinking of people that I could reach out to and also “pay it forward.” It was a natural reaction.

As it happens, if you take a left at the bottom of my street there’s a small farm with a beautiful giant pine tree which stands near the road. Every year, the family there hires a truck with a lifter and a crow’s nest (I don’t know what they’re called) and decorates this enormous tree with Christmas lights. Its beautiful and I absolutely love to drive past it at night.

It has occurred to me that decorating this tree must bring the family great joy because it costs them time, effort, and money to do it each year. I know this, because I personally get a little lazier with my own holiday decorating every year. I hope this family never does.

So I pulled out my personal stationery and wrote them a heartfelt thank you. Did I mention, I don’t know these people an have actually never even seen them before. I just wanted them to know that they bring joy to more than just themselves by lighting up that Christmas tree ever year. I urged them to never stop.

I felt so good as I pulled over and put the envelope into their mailbox last night.

These are some of the things that I intend to do more of in 2015. Yes, I have my grand list of ways in which I can get better this year. But – always most important – is the list of ways in which I can express my appreciation and gratitude to the people who make my life better just by being in it.

You’re one of them.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to drop and do five pushups.