We went to lunch at an upscale restaurant in an affluent area. They were ten minutes late and pulled up in a limousine. Everybody seemed to know them – including the hostess – and immediately following our introduction we were led to “their table.”

I have a penchant for relating to people, and was far more interested in hearing their story than telling them my own. Instantly I was informed that they were very successful and very used to getting what they wanted. I did a lot of listening, which I prefer, and a lot of observing as well. I observed their indifference toward our server. I observed their absence of words like “please” and “thank you” and, consequently their oblivion as I overcompensated to be extra-polite out of pure discomfort.

The lunch itself was wonderful, although they complained about theirs, and when we finished they had an idea of how we could do some business together. They reminded me again how they are people who always get what they want.

When I got home I send them each a text message thanking them again for the lunch. I also wrote them out a thank you card and got it in the mail right away. Neither act was acknowledged, but I did get a phone call asking me what the next step was. I politely informed him that I didn’t think we were a fit to do any business together.

In other words, he didn’t always get what he wanted.

How you treat other people is a huge reflection of what kind of person you are. I didn’t necessarily dislike these people and won’t judge these people for their behavior that afternoon. But I won’t let them into my circle either.

An Appreciation Marketing ® champion minds his manners and treats everybody as a human being. Trust me, people are paying attention. Be the person you wish to attract.

There was a teenager in my neighborhood named Mickey who nobody saw much anymore. He had broken his neck diving into the swimming pool and was paralyzed in a wheelchair. It was very awkward talking to Mickey now and we kids avoided him.

On this particular Saturday in 1974, I was mowing the lawn, sweating, sneezing, and cursing aloud (at no one in particular) because I was missing out on the baseball game at the neighborhood picnic. For some reason, shouting profanities dulled my angst and I didn’t think anybody could hear me over the roar or the lawnmower. That day, Mickey heard me.

“What were you swearing about?” he asked me, a few hours later during the picnic. “My father made me mow the lawn,” was my answer. “Wanna make a deal?” Mickey asked me. “Sure, what’s up?” Then Mickey said something I’ll never forget. “How about if I mow the lawn for you from now on and you can sit in this wheelchair for the rest of your life?” Then he smiled.

Mickey died a few years later, from some type of complication, but I see his smiling face a lot when I need some perspective.

When you really think about it, complaining sure is a selfish – and arrogant – waste of time.

Give that a ponder next time you get stuck in traffic, your restaurant service is slow, your kid misbehaves, you stub your toe, or (God forbid) you have to mow the lawn.

What a thrill it was to watch our first published book shoot to #1 on Amazon.com’s national best-seller list, supplanting a pretty good author in Malcom Gladwell and his classic, Outliers, (albeit for only three days).  

In retrospect, for those who haven’t yet read Appreciation Marketing® it may have been inappropriately named. We didn’t hire a professional or run any focus groups (I didn’t even know what a focus group was) and we didn’t really ask a whole lot of advice. We wanted a title with the word “appreciation” in it. We thought first about Appreciation Nation, but thought that sounded too much like a political book. So we typed “Appreciation Marketing” into Google and got back zero hits. Seriously. Zero. So we got excited and that became our trademarked brand. Incidentally, I just tried it again and got back < insert smiley-face emoji here > over 50 million!

So we have it – “Appreciation Marketing®; How to Achieve Greatness Through Gratitude.”

The challenge (there are no problems) is that now it sounds like a business and/or marketing book. It’s really not. It’s a personal development book. Yes, it will help you immeasurably in business but it will also enhance your personal life which, in my opinion, is far more important. Our work is really about helping you to “Achieve Greatness Through Gratitude.”

Anyway, back to the whole inspiration for writing this blog post. I was looking through our customer feedback on Amazon.com and, of course, focused on the ONE negative comment. First off, I’m all about constructive criticism and believe in telling somebody if there’s a problem (in a friendly way) if it might help them to improve. I just have a difficult time understanding people who choose to make nasty comments. Especially if you’re leaving a mean-spirited comment about a book on appreciation and gratitude! I just thought that was funny (in a sad way).

This guy suggested that you should save yourself some time and just read the two words on the sticky note on our book cover.Those two words are “Thank You.” I wonder what his objective was. Did it make him happy? Did he hope it would make us happy? Did he think it would make anonymous readers happy? It probably wasn’t intended to make anybody happy at all. What then? Oh well.

My hope is that you will think about that before you comment on somebody’s Facebook post, or especially on somebody’s business page. What is your motive?

It was interesting advice, nonetheless.

All I can think to respond is, “Thank You!” Oh, and that it might help him to go back and read the rest of the book! Remember that old adage about “judging a book by its cover?”